Waking up to blasting music "I like to move it move it" from Madagascar is one of the great joys of living right by Orchard Elementary! It could mean only ONE thing. DANCE FESTIVAL PRACTICE! Whooo. Other songs that followed--- What does the fox say, Do you want to build a snowman, In Summer (Olaf's song), and Let it Go.
As I danced my way through the morning, the more I listened to the songs, the more and more I thought about life.
It's almost the dance festival which means that school is almost over which means its been a year since I graduated. A YEAR. That's not even real. Plus not to mention the songs tug at my heart maybe because I'm emotional or something but it made me sad. I miss things. Like elementary school, certain people, certain memories, certain places, certain feelings.
I don't want to grow up. It's been a year since I graduated and truthfully I feel like I've done nothing productive. Sure I've got a full time job that I could work in for the rest of my life. But I haven't gone to college, gone on a mission, gotten married. What have I been doing? Working.
I miss elementary school. I miss lining up before school, I miss that yucky lunch food and Pizza Thursdays! I miss four square and jump rope. I miss reading ALL day because that's all I wanted to do. I LOVED books. I miss cleaning the desks at the end of the year. The dance festival.
I miss junior high! I miss high school! I miss signing yearbooks. I miss homework. Can you believe that? I actually miss homework. I miss all my friends. My social pool sure has shrunk since I graduated. I'm never going to see some people ever again and it makes me sad.
As I listen to all these songs different memories play through my head like a slideshow. And honestly I could just cry. I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP.
Life came and went way too fast. I remember the last day of second grade and thinking "whoa, I'm going to third grade" then I blinked my eyes and now here I am, graduated high school.
When I was in elementary school all I wanted was to be like the "cool high schoolers" Because they seemed SO much older than I did. In my elementary school mind I thought "ok, for my sixteenth birthday party it'll be a boygirl party (oooh scandalous Amy) and we'll play spin the bottle and drive around my new convertible (because obviously EVERY sixteen year old gets one for their birthday)"
HAH. Good one Amy. Life doesn't happen like that.
I never felt old enough to be in high school, making the decisions I was making, in my mind I never became the "cool high schooler" that I had always dreamed of. I feel like in high school I never really DID anything. What am I supposed to tell my kids that "back when I was in high school.." what am I supposed to tell them? I honestly feel like I did nothing.
One year later. Here I am. Feeling so unaccomplished. Do I have regrets? Yes.
But I HATE that! You're supposed to NEVER have regrets. Love every second of your life. I didn't realize that until it was too late. I was always looking forward to something. I'll be happy when I'm in third grade--sixth grade--ninth grade--when I can drive--when I can go to dances--when I'm popular--when I'm this, when I'm that. But that will get you no where in life. You have to love and look forward to the moment that you're in.
My new mottos. Love what you're doing ALWAYS. Never ever have a boring moment. Life is too short to be grumpy/sad, always be happy (I'm definitely working on that one--my family tends to get the brunt of my attitude) Take TONS of pictures. Remember every moment.
Life comes at you fast, you've got to be ready for it. I wasn't. But I want to change that.
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